Hilarious April Fools’ Day Jokes 2009

April 1, 2009

As usual, there are lots of interesting April Fools’ Day jokes around. Here are 3 that I found amusing.

  • The UK newspaper, Guardian, is about to switch completely to using Twitter for news and are even in the process of converting its old news archives, dating back to 1821. Old articles that have been converted include: “OMG Hitler invades Poland, allies declare war see tinyurl.com/b5x6e for more” and “JFK assassin8d @ Dallas, def. heard second gunshot from grassy knoll WTF?”. This is the best joke I’ve heard this year.
  • Google now allows you to search your brain. You are, however, requested not to use Brain Search on others without their permission.
  • In a shocking development, Warner Bros acquires The Pirate Bay. It was the only way they could deal with the dismal showing of the prosecution against the Pirate Bay in the ongoing trial.

Somehow, I found Google’s joke this year to be less funny than previous years, including last years’ search the future joke. Maybe it’s getting old.

Update: Another good one is Opera’s Face Gestures.

Filed in Humor.


Can You Spot the Trick? It’s Not What You Think…

December 17, 2008

How observant are you? Take a look at this Color Changing Card Trick. Can you spot the trick? Well, it’s not what you think…

Professor Wiseman has a few other interesting videos at YouTube, as well as a website called Quirkology that deals with these quirks of psychology. It’s worth checking out.

Filed in Entertainment, Humor, Science, Video.


I Go Chop Your Dollar – Nigerian 419 Scam Music Video (Humor)

September 26, 2008

I just watched this hilarious music video “I Go Chop Your Dollar”, hosted on Youtube, featuring a song performed as though it was sung by one of those 419 Nigerian scammers.

The lyrics, deciphered by CrunchGear, are as follows. You’ll need it because in the manner of a typical Nigerian scam, the sentences are replete with grammatical errors so it’s hard to catch what they’re singing.

I Go Chop Your Dollar

I don’t suffer no be small
Upon say I get sense
Poverty no good at all, no
Na im make I join this business
419 no be thief, its just a game
Everybody dey play am
if anybody fall mugu, ha! my brother I go chop am

Chorus

National Airport na me get am
National Stadium na me build am
President na my sister brother
You be the mugu, I be the master
Oyinbo I go chop your dollar, I go take your money disappear
419 is just a game, you are the loser I am the winner
The refinery na me get am,
The contract, na you I go give am
But you go pay me small money make I bring am
you be the mugu, I be the master… na me be the master ooo!

When Oyinbo play wayo, them go say na new style
When country man do im own, them go de shout bring am, kill am, die!
Oyinbo people greedy, I say them greedy
I don see them tire thats why when them fall enter my trap o!
I dey show them fire

Filed in Entertainment, Humor, Video.


Importance of Sanitizing Your SQL Database Inputs (Humor)

September 17, 2008

After my experience with StupidCensorship’s hacked site, in a fit of curiosity about how sites are hacked, I came across this funny comic from XKCD. It shows how important it is that a program checks its raw input and escape quotes found in it before committing the data to the SQL database.

importance of santizing database inputs

The original Bob drop Tables joke can be found here. For non-SQL programmers: ‘drop table students’ means delete the ‘students’ database table.

Filed in Security, Humor.


How the CERN Large Hadron Collider Can Improve Your Social Life (Humor)

September 13, 2008

Everyone has their take on the CERN Large Hadron Collider, not least of all, xkcd. Here’s their contribution, and it involves the supercollider’s role in your social and romantic life.

Turn on

Who knew that the LHC could become a pick-up line?

Filed in Humor, Science.


Is Windows a Virus? (Humor)

September 1, 2008

This is a hilarious public domain joke that a friend just sent me. It’s about Windows:

Is Windows a Virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here are what viruses do:

  • They replicate quickly – okay, Windows does that.
  • Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so – okay, Windows does that.
  • Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk – okay, Windows does that too.
  • Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh… Windows does that, too.
  • Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow, causing the user to buy new hardware. Yup, that’s with Windows, too.

So far, it seems as if Windows is a virus. But I assure you there are fundamental differences. Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So you see, Windows is not a virus.

It is a bug.

.
Filed in Humor, Windows.


XKCD’s Take on Diebold’s Blaming Voting Machines Problems on Antivirus Software

August 26, 2008

XKCD has a hilarious commentary on Diebold’s attempt to blame its voting machines flaws on the antivirus software installed.

Commentary on Diebold blaming antivirus software for its voting machine flaws

If the image is too small on this post, see the original at the XKCD site. I like their implication: while putting antivirus software may be good security for a normal desktop, on a voting machine it’s like a teacher at a parent-teacher conference assuring you that he “always wears a condom while teaching”.

Filed in Humor.